Welcome to Azeroth: OMG WHAT!
by seafoamcyr
Summary: I wake up as my hunter, on Azeroth. No idea how to use my skills, but I have all my armor, weapons, and pets. I have no idea how or why this happened. Hilarity ensues as I try to figure everything out, and how to get back to normal. First fiction, series planned :)
1. Where The F--k?

Ugh, another freaking Monday. A few more months and I'll be completely done with high school. Still, I really don't want to get up, so I burrow back under my covers.

Even with the sleepiness still fogging my brain, I slowly come to the realization that I don't hear people yelling at me to get up. In fact, I hear crickets. And… is that pigs? Oh my gosh, the one day my sinuses aren't all stuffed up. I can definitely smell them… hold on just a diddly darn minute. Why can I smell pigs?! Sure, home is always cluttered, but never dirty enough to smell like this.

Turning over in bed, I look up. At a woven ceiling that is most certainly the bottom of a rooftop. Two things wrong with this; one, my ceiling is flat; and two, its drywall, not woven. I will be the first person to admit I'm akin to a zombie in the morning, but the abnormal state my room is in works better than even an ice cube down my back to wake me up.

I bolt upright in my bed, and start frantically looking around. It is now I realize that I can see quite clearly. Better, actually, then I normally can with my contacts in. Take a deep breath, Aly, yes that's it. The calming technique almost helps, until I glance down.

I yelp. My hands. MY HANDS. Why are MY HANDS PINK?! My arms. I'm pink. I don't like pink. But I guess it's okay. It's sort of a pink-lilac-ish hue, which is pretty enough. Why am I thinking this? Shouldn't I be flipping the hell out? Oh right, that's what I was doing. I shove my covers off me, and glance at my legs. Yup, I'm all purplish. Looking down… yes, I am no longer Twilight-pale. I am completely this color.

Okay, if I'm all a pretty purplish hue, it would stand to reason that's not the only weird thing going on. Shoving a hand back, I encounter the normally long hair. Except it feels… different. Not curly and tangled, rather sleek actually. I tilt my head, and gather my hair into a side ponytail. Great. It's silvery-blue, and stick-straight. I'm starting to get a bit alarmed now. Déjà vu, I think. Hoping I'm wrong, I bring my hands back feeling for ears. It's not difficult to find these. Long and pointed and—I jump a little—very sensitive. Crap.

I put my hands under me and slowly stand up. Whoa. Vertigo. I'm quite a bit taller than usual. This isn't good. There's a large basin of water in the corner of the room—very nice room, wherever I am—that I stumble over to. Well, I trip in the middle of the room and manage to grab the edge of the container. I hoist myself up…then I look down.

An inhumanly beautiful face stares back at me. Leaf markings under the _glowing silver eyes_. Pert nose. Lilac mouth. My face is the same color as the rest of me. I'm a night elf.

… WHY AM I A NIGHT ELF?!


	2. Boobies!

Okay. Okay. I'm a night elf. I don't know why. I don't know where I am. I'm not completely certain who I am. But, after pinching myself several times—with the bruises to prove it—I am sure this is absolutely not a dream. I am stuck as an elf for the foreseeable future; I might as well see what I have to work with.

Is there a mirror in here anywhere? Uh… I look around; my new and improved eyesight catches specks of dust in the air. Wow. I could get used to this. I spot a glint; aha, there's a mirror! Under the bed, of all places. Leaning down, I drag it out—damn this thing is heavy—and prop it up against a wall.

I'm slim. Muscled. Your everyday night elf female. I just have a thin undershirt and linen pants on, which doesn't leave a lot to the imagination. I'm pretty hot, to be honest. All that fighting I do, however I do it, helps keep me in shape. As I continue to survey my new body, I notice something—or rather, two somethings—that I had been missing before this morning.

I have tits. Very nice ones, too. Don't look at me like that. I was close to flat-chested before today. A girl is allowed to enjoy her girls. Looking behind both of my shoulders, I bounce. OW. I understand the idle bouncing animation now—after all, with these beauties, who wouldn't?—but oh yeah I'm gonna need a little more than this shirt to make it less painful.

After admiring myself a bit more—I'm sexy, I'm allowed—I figure I should keep this one room I live in clean. Although, it seems I don't have much more to do other than make my bed. 'Tis a very nice bed too. Filled with down, I think, though I'm not about to check and make sure. It's another thing that is pleasantly bouncy.

I whistle a little tune as I make the bed, straightening out the blankets. Then I stop. I heard something. These big honkers I have for ears could be handy. It sounds like… footsteps? I turn around…

Just in time to see a gigantic white feline leap at me.


	3. Loki

This day is above and beyond the weirdest one on my list thus far into my life, and it only just started. First, I'm a night elf. That came as a hell of a shock, believe me. No zoomy-into-the-computer like you'd hear in the stories, no. I just woke up, like an hour ago. As a night elf. I have no idea how it happened. I pinched myself several times, thinking I might wake up from a seriously effed up dream, but no, I just have bruises on my arms.

Second of all, there's a voice in my head. Yeah, I know, I have all my inner monologues with various versions of my voice, but no. This voice is male. Kind of gruff. Almost sexy, even if it is disembodied. While I would spend time trying to find the source, there is an issue that requires my full attention. Demanding my attention even.

There's a gorgeous glowing leopard on top of me, since it knocked me down. And it's nuzzling me. And… purring? Yes, it's definitely purring. I hesitantly reach up, meaning to stroke the ears, but it leans its head into my hand. Wow. Soft fur and the glowing spots feel slightly cool to the touch. I scratch behind its ears, and then I hear the voice in my head say "Mm yes, right there." I stop. Wha… Scratch; hear the male voice again urging me on. Whoa.

The voice in my head belongs to this gorgeous cat. A gorgeous, glowing snow leopard, which I can talk to, and he seems to be nearing a state of euphoria as I continue to rub his ears. However, I am beginning to go numb. This kitty is heavy.

"Uhm… sweetie… could you move off me? I'd like to get up off the floor."

" Awwww, but that felt good." I can almost hear the pout. "You okay? You smell different. And you're acting off." I feel slight pressure on my chest before he leaps up to my bed.

"I… uh… I don't really remember anything. About you. Me. Anything, really. Could you fill me in?"

You know that look someone gets on their face when they're exasperated? I'm pretty sure this cat would be giving me that look if he could. I can hear the sigh in his voice anyway.

"You so owe me some poached Nettlefish after this. How much is 'anything' anyway?"

"Ah… everything?"

"I was afraid of that. Okay, so, I am Loki, formerly known as Loque'nahak, and you are Cyradis, often called Cyr, a hunter with 90 seasons experience adventuring."

I think my heart stopped as soon as he said my name. I'm… Cyr. I'm my hunter.

Oh shit.


	4. Born to be Wild?

"You're a longtime member of the guild called Insomnia*, you adventure into the Siege of Orgrimmar nearly every week and help defeat powerful enemies with several guild members. Oh, and me, of course, always by your side." Loki pauses, and I hold out a hand.

"Hold up. This is all wrong." I don't even know how I'm keeping my composure right now.

"How is anything wrong? That's what you do. Well, some of it."

"But this is all a video game! None of this is—well, should be—real right now." The words come out in a rush.

"… What's a video game?" He sounds very curious.

"…" How do I even explain this? I've been playing WoW for 5, maybe 6 years; shouldn't I be able to at least explain that? "Um, I don't think I could really explain what a video game is, because then I'd have to go into more detail on how to play them, and it's hard enough to keep my thoughts in line as it is."

"What can you explain to me then?"

"I'm not Cyr."

"Of course you are, don't be ridiculous." His tone is scathing, and I'm pretty sure he would roll his eyes if he could.

"No no, you don't understand. I wasn't Cyr, let alone a 7 foot tall night elf before this morning. I was human, and my name was—is—Aly. I play this game, called World of Warcraft, where me, you, all of this, is just inside a computer. No, don't ask what a computer is." Loki looks slightly disappointed. But I continue on with my rant, which, in retrospect, probably sounded like gibbering madness. I sit on my bed. I feel weak.

"Cyradis is just my main, my favorite character. I raid every week because I'm good at it and I love my guildies, not because I have some burning desire to vanquish evil. Although I would like to put an arrow in Garrosh's eye."

"Well at least there's something we agree on."

"You're just my favorite pet, my Loque. I spent a year trying to find you in the wild."

"For one, of course I'm your favorite. Why wouldn't I be? I'm awesome. As for that year, I was mostly with my girl, Har'koa, you know, the goddess in the troll place? Ay mami, good memories." Loki begins to purr again, and I start seeing images of… oh my gosh.

"Calm yourself, I really don't need to see animal pornography." Ew, I'm never gonna get that out of my head. Literally. You know, since he's in my head and all. I'm so funny—not.

"Well what did you think we do? Knit?"

"I would have liked to believe that, yes, until you burned a very different image into my retinas!"

"What's a reti—you know what, nevermind. And I'm not even sorry. Har'koa is a hottie."

"See, you're catching on now." Where is this sarcasm coming from? Shouldn't I be, I dunno, clutching my head, rocking back and forth on my bed chanting something? "I don't care if your girl is a hottie, I really could have lived my whole life and died happily without seeing those images."

"You're not gonna die for a very long time. I don't think you could have been truly fulfilled until you saw that." I can hear the smirk in his voice.

"I'm not gonna argue over this. I'm too scarred from that. And… how old am I?" From game lore, I know night elves can get around 10,000 years old or more, so I really am curious.

"You're about 450 years old, give or take a decade." My breath catches. 450 years?! I don't know any formula to translate that into human years. But, since Loki is in my mind, he has the answer. "You're about 21 in human years." Oh. That makes feel a little more comfortable. I don't have to be wise and all those things expected of the elderly.

"Okay… now we tackle bigger questions. Why can I talk to you?"

"Taming involves a mental link. I don't like the word 'taming', really. I'm not tame." I raise my eyebrows at him. He scoffs. "Well, I'm not. I'm born to be wiiiiiii-ild."

"If you start singing, I will disown you."

"I'll just go back to my girl then. And make sure you know exactly what's going on every second." Why you little shit.

"Fine, fine, no disowning. One picture was bad enough." I shudder.

"Okay, what else do you need to know?" Loki loves joking and bantering, but this is srsbznz.

"Umm… can we hold it for a moment?" All of this information finally hits me all at once, much like a brick wall. I'm hyperventilating.

"You okay?"

"… No." I manage to get this out, before collapsing. This is just too much to handle while conscious.

* * *

_While I'm on break, I mean to update near every night, especially now that a few of you like the story. I have a lot of ideas for this story, but I welcome more. Please, don't hesitate to PM me if you think you have something I could use. I do have to make game ideas make sense in the real world, so take that into consideration. _

_*Insomnia is not the name of my guild. But it's a safe, common guild name._


	5. Armor Adventures

I wake up to being whacked across the face with a giant white paw. I bolt upright and rub my eyes, then glare at Loki.

"Hey I tried to be nice at first. A little nuzzling and purring. That lasted about five minutes before I had to take desperate measures. I'm hungry, woman. Where the hell is that Nettlefish you were gonna get for me?"

I'm pretty close to a zombie when I wake up—the whole slow-moving-shuffle and groaning, not the hungering-for-brains part—so I have to stay sitting up for a few minutes while I wake back up. I run a hand over my face, yawn, and stretch, then I reply, "If you haven't noticed, I haven't left the house yet, you dumbo."

"What's that got to do with anything? You're supposed to magically have some Nettlefish in your bag."

"I don't know where my bag is, doofcake. Nor anything about what I have in my possession."

"It's hanging on the hook behind you on the wall. And you have your armor and weapon. Some noodles, cooking tokens, the Black Prince's eye, and various silly magical items."

"The Black Prince's… no, never mind that." I pick up the sack, which just looks like a plain brown backpack, and begin rummaging through it. I pull out my bow—oh man, Rhok'delar looks even cooler when I'm up close—and pause. "How much does this bag hold? It looks like it could be a purse."

"Oh, it can hold a lot."

"So I'm a regular Mary Poppins?" That should help a little with my natural state of disorganization.

"… who?" Loki cocks his head at me. Oh right. People here have no idea who Mary Poppins is. I need to watch the pop culture references.

"Um. It's a movie character."

"What's a—"

"No, I'm not explaining movies to you."

"You make my head hurt."

"Oh boohoo, poor baby."

"Jerk."

"Shut it or I won't get any Nettlefish." He grumbles, and I hear some very rude mutters, but shuts up.

I pull a small object out of my bag. It looks like a glowing red ember, except its squishy, which is creepy. I squeak and throw it across the room.

"Now what would you do that for?" Loki sounds confused.

"Uh… what is it?" It felt like it should be slimy, hence the throwing it, but it was smooth.

"The Black Prince's eye, derr."

"Isn't that supposed to be an extra socket thing? How would that… thing… work?"

"It shapes to the gem and weapon. It's complicated. Just go with it."

"Fine. I think I found my armor. Can you help me put it on?" I say this right before I remember I'm talking to a cat, of course he can't help me. He echoes my thoughts.

"Uh, I don't have opposable thumbs, dummy." He holds out a paw. "See?"

I ignore him. I take out the mail breastplate. Feels fairly light for what it is. How do I even put it on? Oh. There are small buckles at the side. I set it aside on my bed for now. Then I pull out mail gloves, leggings, shoulder guards, and a helmet. The helmet looks really odd, but the simplest piece. I pick it up, and carefully put it on my head.

"How the hell do I even see out of this thing?" I yell, but it sounds muffled. Then I feel this rush of power. It's quite exhilarating. I pull the helmet off, and the rush is gone. So it's magic armor. Cool! I want to see how my full set of armor feels.

Okay, I'm not going to give a full play-by-play on the rest of this ordeal, but about 45 minutes later, I was struggling to put my boots on, and I had many bruises from falling on my face. Loki had padded out the door about 10 minutes in, saying something along the lines of "You're a disgrace."

Trying to get these boots on and to where they feel comfortable, I fall again. "Oh hell!" That was bad enough. Then I hear a distinctly male laugh, it's not Loki, and it's definitely behind me.

Uh-oh. I have a visitor.


	6. Can't Touch That (No Hammer Time)

I have a visitor. Oh hell I'm not ready for this. However…the visitor is male, and going by WoW, probably ripped and sexy. I'm sexy now, so I could totally impress him! I grab my helmet, and hastily jam it on my head, trying to stuff all my hair up into it at the same time. I can't see anything, but I bet I look awesome, and well, epic. Heh. I turn around. Well, okay, I try to turn around. With my impressively bad luck combined with all-around klutziness, I don't manage that. Instead, I manage to trip on something and slide down my steps until I collide with the guy that I guess is standing there. I am so good at first impressions—not.

I hear a thud. A curse, then some laughter. Was that my name he said? No matter what he said, I think I knocked him down. Well, I wanted to make an impression, and this will leave a lasting one, albeit not very good. I still can't see anything, though I think he got up and he's still laughing at me.

"Cyr, your helmet is on backwards." Oh. I struggle to sit up, but he beats me to it. He grasps my hand and helps me up, then takes off the offending hat. And then I see him, smiling at me.

It's like being hit in the face with an angel. Angels are supposed to be hot, right? Well, this one is. Hot is an understatement. Like hot damn, I'm speechless. The things I would do… mmm. We won't go into that. I want to say something, anything—okay, maybe not anything—but I'm pretty sure I have no idea how to use my tongue anymore. I probably have a huge stupid grin on my face. I hope I'm not drooling.

He is the epitome of perfection. I completely understand why a chiseled jawline is such a big plus now. And that grin is just adorable. Just a teensy bit lopsided, and—ohmigod—he has dimples. I am sooo done for. I'm not even that big a fan of long hair on a guy, since so many can't pull it off, but oh goodness this one can, and then some. Long bluish white hair, like mine. Callused hands are sexier than I thought, since he's still holding mine. And staring at me with a questioning look. Oh, I've been staring. Whoopsie.

I blink. Shoot, what to say what to say? I'm busy marveling at him still. Dat physique. How do I even describe him overall? Oh, I know. Think of a smutty romance novel cover, but prettier, because I'm in luck, he's also a night elf. Least I can experience my own race's males before anyone else. And if they have this effect on me… oh dear I better stay out of capital cities.

I take a deep breath. Thankfully, I have an abundance of self control, so I keep from saying anything stupid. Too stupid, at least. I hope.

"Hit my head, momentarily stunned, sorry. You okay? I did fall into you."

"Oh yeah, I'm fine. You've done that before." He's grinning at me. So I've been around him enough to do that before? Not that that takes long. But still, that's something. "Are you okay? You did fall pretty hard."

"Oh, I'm fine. Happens all the time." I wave a hand dismissively. It does happen all the time, not kidding.

I step back, releasing his hand—sadly—and look around. He has armor on, similar to mine, and a striped nightsaber at his side, which is staring at me. So he's a hunter too? Cool, things in common to discuss. Where the hell is Loki, anyway? His pet reminds me I haven't seen mine for quite a while.

"What are you doing in Halfhill anyway?" The guy asks me, sounding curious, which jerks my attention back up to his face… not that I mind that at all.

"Uh… I…" Crap why did I log Cyr out here anyway? I don't remember. Easy to forget what with today's events.

"I swear, you have a worse memory than me, and you're the young one." Okay… younger than him? I don't tell many people my age, so he must be a good friend. Maybe Loki could tell me. That is, if he shows up anytime. Hint hint!

"Oh shut up, I'm coming." I hear Loki's irritated voice in my head. I would scold him, but I can't give that my best effort, with the visitor and all.

"So, do you have that belt made for me?" I was supposed to make a belt for this guy? I remember that my professions are Leatherworking and Skinning, but I have no idea how to do that now.

"Tell him you forgot to make the last few hides, so you'll send it to him later." I silently thank whatever deity is listening that Loki is helping me out with this. I repeat the directive, and the guy rolls his eyes at me.

"Of course you forgot. Try to send it sometime later, will you?" He doesn't even sound annoyed at me. He sounds like my forgetfulness is usual, which of course, it is. So he knows me well enough for that. Now I really wonder who this guy is. Loki will tell me, I'm sure.

"Are you gonna get me Nettlefish?" Oh I wish I could hate you to death, you silly cat. "No you don't, you're just saying that to make me feel better." Damn it Loki, shut up.

"Of course I will, I'm sorry about the wait."

"Don't worry; I know you'll stick by your word. Eventually." He grins at me before gesturing to his pet and fishing a small, odd whistle out of his packs. The nightsaber runs off to who-knows-where. I didn't pay attention, as I'm a bit distracted by what his blowing the whistle did.

"See ya later." He says this as he climbs onto a large, red flying serpent that descended out of nowhere after he used that whistle. Wow, I have to see if I have one, that's so cool!

After the guy flies off, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, and turn to Loki, who finally showed up.

"Who was that? He seemed to know me, but I didn't recognize him at all." I hear a big sigh. Bitch whine and cry.

"That was Ren, and Shadow."

I freeze. Great, there go my hopes and dreams, crushed beneath Loki's words. Ren is one of my guild officers, and like 30 years older than me in real life.

Damn it. At least I can still oogle Mr. Adonis as much as I want, since we raid together all the time.

* * *

_I was trying to make the description of him as cliche-y as possible, and I think I succeeded. But, breaking the cliche cause he's not a love interest. I just get to oogle him, though it'll be more subtle now. :D_


	7. Hunting (Probably Not) Done Right

"Woman, where the hell is that poached Nettlefish you promised me?" I roll my eyes. He came back not too long ago with some bloody meat in his mouth, so I think he just likes to complain. Not that I'm like that or anything.

"Must I remind you once again that I have to go to Northrend to fish that up?" I turn around, raising my eyebrows at him. "And also that I don't have the faintest idea of how to get to Northrend?"

"Pfft, that's not important. What's important is my poached Nettlefish. Get to it!"

I try to smother my grin, but it fails and a small giggle escapes me before I seal my lips shut. Unfortunately, Loki notices, cocks his head at me, before proceeding to stand up and place his paws on my shoulders. Damn, this cat is big.

"You promised me Nettlefish." He says this in slow measured tones, and looks expectantly at me. Like that is supposed to work and I can pull what he wants out of my ass? I laugh at him, hold up a hand, and poke his forehead.

"Get down off me, you brute. I need to go kill things and skin them to make that belt."

"You mean come with me while I kill things, right?" He sounds smug. Ladies and gents, my cat is a jerk.

"Yeah yeah that's what I mean. I can't even shoot yet."

"Quite the incredibly skilled hunter you are, huh?"

"Shut up, or you'll never get that damn Nettlefish."

"At this rate, I won't get them anyway, so I don't think that's much of a threat." Damn it, why does the jerk have to be right?

"Just go kill stuff. I can pretend it's you."

"You wound me. My poor little heart is shattered into tiny bits." He even put a little catch in his voice! Like jeez, should I bring my cat to audition on Broadway or something? Now that's something I'd want to see.

I roll my eyes at Loki, then pick my bag up, sling it over my shoulder, and stride out down the steps. Hey I even kept my balance this time!

"You're slowly learning the simple skill of coordination. Mommy is so proud." I stop, and cock my head.

"Shut. Up." I say this slowly, almost biting the words off. I enjoy having a companion whose personality is so like mine, but really he can be a little twat sometimes.

"Fine fine. Jerk. Let's go this way." He flicks his tail at my leg, and proceeds to dart off, I think south of the Heartland farms. So we're not just going to kill goats? This could be fun. I even have the endurance and all that stuff to keep up with him, which is awesome—maybe I ought to look into this whole exercise thing. Being a night elf gets better and better.

Barely breathing hard, I stop a few feet behind Loki, who is resting on his haunches, watching a mushan beast. My god, they looked fairly large while I was playing the game, but now that one is a few yards away? Pretty sure I would be a medium snack for it. Wait. Aren't they like rhinos?

"Yeah, they don't eat meat. Just plants and stuff." Right. Don't have to worry about being eaten. That's good. "Pretty sure only ever eating plants would be a crappy life to live. We're just putting it out of its misery, right? Give me meat or give me death!" Loki pauses. "Well, don't give me death. I'd really rather stay alive to irritate you. But I guess a life eating plants would be pretty close to death."

"Can we just get started?" I cut in before he can start on a tirade about how being a carnivore is so much better than anything.

"Oh, sure, let's just casually murder a giant beast and move on. Not like it takes time or anything." Loki is looking at now, with a slightly censuring tone in his voice. I ignore it.

"Yes, that's what I mean." I pull my Rhok'delar-looking bow out of my pack, and attempt to hold it like I see in the movies and such. I don't have the innate knowledge like a born night elf huntress would, give me a break.

"While you figure out how to hold your weapon, I'm gonna go over here and kill big beasty." He turns around, crouches down, and I assume sneaks around to pounce on big beasty. I really have no idea how to hold this bow. I hear his roar, but I really want to be able to help him. It shouldn't be this difficult to hold my bow properly. Mentally I castigate myself for being an idiot, but I am interrupted in this by Loki's very unique roar… a lot closer.

I look up and oh HOLY CRAP Loki's muzzle is covered in blood, he's got this murderous look in his eyes, and most importantly he's sprinting toward me WHY IS HE COMING TOWARD ME NO BAD KITTY—! I throw my arms up over my face, to protect myself on instinct, but he soars over me and as I fall backwards, I see him leap on a giant white wolf that had been coming up behind me. Oh.

As soon as I hit the ground, I am up and scrambling back because my cat is rather alarming at the moment, in that he is quite a bit larger than normal, and oh yeah, all red. And he is MAD. Like full on raging murderer. Which I guess, as he tore the wolf's throat out, he is a raging murderer.

Ever run into a situation where your only real reaction is "nope"? Well yeah, that's me right now. I'm sitting on the ground, hands covering my face, still trying to recover from thinking my cat was going to rip my face off. It's really freaking scary. Loki, of course, is exasperated with me. He's lying on the ground facing me, paw over his eyes. All I hear from him is the occasional mutter about how I'm an imbecile and how could I possibly be the skilled huntress that tamed a creature like him.

This is just too much to take for one day.

* * *

_I'm sorry guys, I had serious writer's block and bad timing always got in the way of me updating sooner. Thank you for nice reviews, they help me out a lot. I mean to get the next chapter out a lot sooner than this one, don't worry. :)_


	8. Skin to Win! Or Not

"I know I'm a disgrace, shame on me, shame on my family, and shame on my cow, whatever." I'm sitting on the ground, glaring at Loki, who is lying on the ground, blood on his muzzle, a paw covering his face, muttering insults aimed at yours truly. He was the one who charged at me in a bloody rage and scared the living hell out of me, though he was going for the wolf sneaking up behind me meaning to turn me into puppy chow. Not that I can blame it. I'm probably delicious. But let's not go into that.

"I'll bite you and see if you are."

"Ah… no, I'd prefer to not be bitten."

"Don't you trust me?" You don't have eyelashes, Loki. Quit trying to bat them!

"In a word… no. Not really."

"But moooooooooooom!" Great, now my cat can play a toddler in a movie. He got the tone right and everything.

"We came out here to do something, didn't we?" Pretty sure I have the memory of a goldfish.

"Oh for—ugh." I hear a smacking sound, and look up to see Loki smack his face with his paw. Great, even my cat goes /facepalm at me. Or facepaw in this case. "Yes. We came out here to murder innocent animals aiming to collect their skins and make pretty armor for people."

"Oh right! Skinning!"

I jump up from my spot on the ground, and walk over to the dead mushan. One, ew. Loki killed it by going for the throat, so blood is still oozing from it. Two, I may need to look into a nose clip, because damn this has got to be the worst smell ever. I dance around the spreading blood and stand by the creature's side.

"Okay so… now what?" I look at Loki, because he's supposed to know everything.

"How the hell should I know? Must I remind you again? All I have are claws and paws, which don't include opposable thumbs, you dingus."

Okay so he's not going to be any assistance whatsoever. Skinning can't be that difficult can it? I pick up one of the skinning knives I have, with a blade about eight inches long. Anything more would be overkill. I think.

Anyway! I should probably try to get as much hide as possible, so I reason that starting at the spine would be smart. So I lift up the knife and cut into the hide next to the spikes on the back. The blade sinks into the skin, but then suddenly stops. I dig it in a little deeper, and then I hear a little '_dink!_' noise. Oh, I hit bone. I try to pull it out to reposition, but it's not budging. Great. It's stuck. The freaking mushan is holding my knife hostage.

"Wow you're so smart!" I hear Loki laughing at me in my head. I turn and put my hands on my hips.

"Oh like you could do any better!" I stick my tongue out at him. I know it's a juvenile move, but it seems fitting at this point in time.

I turn back to the mushan. I guess I ought to try and get my knife out. I guess my only option is to yank it out. Now don't go lecturing me on knife safety, I know. But have you ever been trying to get a very large dagger out of a huge dead animal? I didn't freaking think so.

So I pull. And I pull. Aaaand… I pull some more, because this thing feels like it's in concrete. Makes me think of King Arthur and the sword in the stone. So I yank again and—oh there's no resistance now. I feel a sharp pain, and look down. Yeah, that's definitely a sharp pain. The damn knife is in my leg now. Cue some extremely creative cursing as I yank it out. HOLY SHIT THAT HURTS.

I fall down onto the ground, clutching my leg, chanting "Ow ow ow ow…" because that was a big blade and it was halfway into my thigh. That's one way to test the sharpness.

Loki silently pads over to me, licks my face—usually I would say ew, but it's sort of comforting—and instead of continuing to be comforting, he says something that surprises me.

"Oh shut up, you big baby. Mama Loki is here." His eyes momentarily glow green, and I feel coolness over the gash in my leg. I look down. Through the gap in my armor and underclothes, I see what had been a wide slash requiring several stitches is now a long pink scar. What the…?

Hold on. Why can Loki heal? I think back to playing Cyr rather than being Cyr. Loki is a spirit beast and his special ability is… right, Spirit Heal or something. That's good to know.

"Healer, encyclopedia, hero, what else can you do?" I stroke Loki's ears.

"I also cook like a dream." I should have expected that.

"Oh you can? So why am I making you Nettlefish again?" I grin at him as I scratch his ears.

"Do I really have to go over the whole opposable thumbs thing?"

"Yeah yeah I know, you're a poor helpless domestic cat that can't do anything because he doesn't have thumbs."

Loki backs up, glares at me for a moment, and then opens his mouth very wide to reveal rows of glowing, sharp fangs.

"Say what bitch?" He holds the menacing act for a moment more, then just yawns and gives me as best as grin as he can.

"I won't bite you that much. You're a big baby anyway."

"Thanks for that, jerk. So we've established I can't skin anything worth crap. What do I do then?"

"We can go to the Auction House?" His tone suggests that I should have known that.

"How did I forget about the AH? I can just cheat and buy leather. I think I have a decent amount of gold. So uh… how do I get there?"


	9. I Believe I Can Fly

I'm sitting on the floor back at my house in Halfhill, rummaging through my bag. I stop, and look back over my shoulder at my bed, where Loki is sprawled.

"May I remind you that that happens to be my bed, not yours?"

"What'd you say? All I heard was something about my bed." He lifts his head up, yawns, and gives me a toothy cat grin.

"No, I said… nevermind." There's no point telling a cat what is and isn't theirs. As far as he's concerned, everything is his. I sigh and go back to searching through my bag.

"What was I looking for again?"

"Uhh… your hearthstone?"

"Right! Isn't that a rock with a swirly thingy on it?"

I ignore his huff that I guess means he's rolling his eyes at me and pull said rock out of my bag. I open my mouth to ask how to use it, but then something shiny catches my eye. I set down the hearthstone and fish it out. It's a whistle, a really weird looking one. I hold it up to Loki.

"What's this thing?"

"Oh, that's how you call Urdin."

"Who's Urdin?" The name doesn't sound familiar at all.

"Oh, your blue proto dragon."

"I have a blue dragon?" That's so cool!

"You sure you wanna try to fly to the Shrine rather than teleporting?" Loki sounds a bit uncertain. Worried about me, even. Mama Loki indeed.

"Yeah, I'd like to. One, I have a dragon. Like how cool is that?"

"Not near as cool as me, I can assure you." He sounds slightly injured, so I reach back and rub his head.

"And if I remember correctly what all I did in-game, I'm on the back of dragons and various other creatures fairly frequently, so won't I need to learn all that again?"

"Well yes, but—"

"But what?" I turn around and look him in the face. "What is the issue with me learning a necessary skill?" I hear him mutter something in response, but don't catch anything intelligible. He sounds… is he embarrassed?! That's a new one.

"I didn't catch that?"

"I said Urdin's a jackass. Always trying to bite my tail and stuff." He snaps this out, then lifts a paw and covers his face. I hear a muffled apology, laugh, and scratch his ears.

"I'm sorry Urdin is a bully, but I do need to know how to fly."

"I know, I know. I guess I'll go to the stable master."

"What does the stable master do exactly?" There has to be some reasonable explanation for how to get pets from one place to another, and I really am curious.

"Oh, they have some small bit of magic that allows them to teleport pets to different stable masters."

"So it's like a network of them?"

"Yeah, kind of."

"Do they have some mental thing so they know where to send you?" So they're like hunter-mage people? I wanna multi-class too! Well, after I figure out the basics of this. I mean really.

"Noooooooo, I just claw them in the face until they send me where I wanna be. What do you think dingledorf?" His tone is almost dripping with sarcasm.

"Thanks for that, butthead. So now I know you'll get where you need to, that eases my mind a bit."

"Sooo what are we going to do now? Are you gonna go fishing?"

"You even mention Nettlefish and I will let Urdin play with you."

"No no don't do that. I'm going I'm going." He hops off the bed and with a pithy "you're so mean to me", stalks out the door.

I hop up from my place on the floor and slide down the steps—not on my face this time, surprisingly—and watch Loki dash off, smiling at him stopping to nip a piece of food from a vendor at the Halfhill bazaar. With him taken care of by those cheaty multi-classing stable masters that I am totally not jealous of (yes I am), I pull the little whistle out of my pocket and examine it closer.

The whistle is silver, and about the length of my thumb. It has little grooves on both sides near where it narrows to the mouthpiece, and I think a figure of a dragon's head stamped on the end. Cool! I place it in my mouth, and blow, but I don't hear anything resembling a whistle. What I do hear, however, is a loud roar, seeming like several different notes in the same roar, much like Loki's.

I look up in the sky and see a huge cobalt figure descend and land about ten feet away from me, rear up and spread enormous wings, and land, facing me. He—Urdin, I guess—stares balefully at me while I try to retrieve my jaw from the ground. He's magnificent. I slowly stride toward him, and stretch out a hand toward his nose. Before I can reach him, he leans forward so I can pet him. I hear a deep rumbling noise, sort of like a purr and a growl, coming from his chest. He's so cute. You wouldn't think a massive proto-dragon would be cute, but he really is.

I stroke his nose while walking around him; I pause to scratch the little tufts where I guess his ears would be, on my way to the leather saddle contraption on his back. I glance at Urdin, who just stares back at me, with a look that I feel says "what are you waiting for?" so I climb on and sit on his back, looking down in confusion at the other leather pieces. Am I supposed to strap in? Like there are three small straps on opposite sides by my legs, and buckles on the other side; there's also a leather strap that I think goes around my waist. I guess I buckle in? That seems reasonable, since proto-drakes are the opposite of tame—there's your understatement of the century, right there. I struggle, but eventually manage to get everything buckled and tightened properly—I hope.

So what do I do now? Do I just… tap him? No, wait. I squeeze his middle with my legs and tug on the reins. Urdin looks back at me, rears up and abruptly takes off, me shrieking the entire time. Hooooooly shit I've got to be more than 10,000 feet in the air. I'm not even directing him, so OH MY GOD WE'RE FLIPPING NO BAD DRAGON ohkay we're good now. I yell "DON'T DO THAT" but I think the wind carried it away. But he seems to have heard me. He looks back and makes that little purring noise again, and proceeds to stop midair. I jerk a little.

I hold a hand out, take some deep breaths, and say, "Okay, Ur, we're good now. Can you take me to the shrine?" At least I hope I'm good.

Urdin makes that little purring noise—I guess that's a yes?—and does a little maneuver and continues on for another few seconds before landing on ivory and gold tiles. Oh, we're here. That didn't take as long as I expected it to take. Or maybe it did, I was just busy screeching.

I lean down and unbuckle all the straps holding me on, and slide off to the floor in a heap. Loki is sitting on his haunches, looking at me. I lift a hand and wave Urdin off, who roars gleefully and takes off to god knows where.

"Not so cool now, are we?" Loki has a little smugness in his voice, so I take that hand, reach up, and flick his nose.

"What'd you do that for?"

"Shut up, Loki."

* * *

_SeafoamCyr#1990_

_If you happen to be online, feel free to add me. Cause I like to talk :)_


	10. Welcome to the Jungle

I'm lying in a heap on the floor after flying to the Shrine of Seven Stars on the back of a dragon. As you can probably guess, I've never flown on a dragon, so that was certainly a new experience, as indicated by my position as a heap on the floor. I can't get my legs to work yet, so I'm quite content to remain here for a while.

But, Loki isn't having it. He's currently biting at my fingertips—he has big fangs, it's not like a cute kitten—because he wants to get going. It really hurts!

"Come ON you big wimp! We gotta stop by some places and get leather. Also some Nettle—."

"I will beat you senseless if you say Nettlefish."

"No you won't, you would miss my lovely and polite commentary on everything."

"Oh shut up, let's get going. So where are we going first?" I set a hand on him and slowly get on my feet, keeping my hand on Loki's back for balance.

"We're going to talk to a banker in Stormwind to see how much moolah you have."

"Is it all coins?" If I remember correctly, I have a substantial amount of gold on Cyr, so paper money might be nice.

"Yes, of course. What else would it be, tauren poo?" He looks at me like I'm an idiot not that that's different from any other look on his face recently.

I'm still a bit unsteady, so I keep a hand on Loki as he leads me up these bronze steps and into a room. The portals are all very bright vertical disks, floating about a foot off the ground, and emanating bright tendrils of what I guess is arcane energy or mana. It's almost blinding until you get used to the bright light, and realize there's an image of a city in each disk. I glance at Loki.

"So which portal is which?"

"The far one is Exodar, the draenei city, then from there left to right, Stormwind, Ironforge, and Darnassus. Then behind you are Shattrath and Dalaran."

"Okay. These are so cool!" I stride up to the portal Loki said takes me to Stormwind. It's from just below my knees to my shoulders. These are far bigger than they seem in-game.

"So… what do I do? I can't just click on them here."

"You walk through it, dumbass. What the hell is clicking? No, never mind." He shakes his head.

I laugh and start to do just that, but I feel a nip on my hand. He's trying to drag me back.

"What's wrong?"

"You'll want to brace yourself." I start to reply that it can't be that bad but hell, it can't hurt, right? Oh my god was that advice helpful, because as soon as I step through the portal, my vision goes black and I feel like someone used a fishing hook right behind my navel and yanked me off my feet before I land face first on cold stone.

I feel small taps on my shoulder and manage to weakly lift my head up and see a wavering image of a face. Human, I think, maybe one of the mages in the portal room.

"I'm fine. Just haven't…ah, haven't been through a portal in a long time."

"Alright, dear." The sweet older lady holds out a hand and helps me to my feet, and it's so odd to realize I tower over her by at least a foot, if not two. In fact, it's odd to see a human at all after becoming accustomed to being an elf. I didn't really have the composure to note any other races while in the shrine.

I take a deep breath and look forward. There's a grey and purple spherical doorway filled with an odd greenish mist. I bite my lip and try to casually stroll forward and hide the wince from not knowing exactly what it is. I didn't feel anything; I'm just suddenly in a circular room with a winding ramp leading downward out of the tower. Huh. That's kinda cool.

Stepping out of the tower, I take my first look at Stormwind City, the Alliance capital. My first thought is "wow". Gleaming towers and stone castles and turrets all over the place. And the Mage district, oh it's so beautiful. Flowers and trees and even adorable critters all over the place. I note the color change between districts, like the massive Cathedral and the adjoining shops in that district are roofed in yellow, whereas the Trade District is all topped in light blue. I feel like it shouldn't mesh as well as it does, but the effect is amazing. I hear birds chirping and the distant sound of people hawking their wares, and something else.

"Wouldja pick up your jaw from the ramp and go, lady?" I hear a gruff voice behind me and jump.

"Sorry, sorry!" I step down the ramp and watch whoever that was flying off on a cloud serpent—those things are really huge, by the way.

"Yeah, stop looking around in awe; you're supposed to be a jaded and grumpy adventurer, gawd woman!" I see Loki made it here.

"This is just gorgeous." I feel a bit breathless. It really is incredible.

"Yeah, it is, but the guards are looking at you funny. Most people fully decked out in armor like yours don't take even a second to marvel at the city, only young newcomers do that."

"Oh, right." I glance up and see a male human in white armor edged with blue, gazing at me with interest.

"Move right along, will you please?" His voice is muffled by the helmet, but his stern tone gets across and I quickly understand that this is a guard and someone I need to heed.

I meander down the stone path, promising myself I will stop in each shop later to look around, until I get to a bright white stone archway leading to a stone bridge.

"So does this lead to another district?"

"Yeah, all the districts are separated by canals. Around the Love festival, there are boats you can take with an admirer through the whole system. If you ignore the smell, it's quite nice."

"Oh jeez, do they dump sewage in the canals?" I wrinkle my nose, because the smell has definitely found its way to me now. Ew.

"There are pipes now, thanks to clever little gnomes and their gadgets, but the smell has yet to completely dissipate."

"Ugh, what I would do for some Febreze."

"What's Febreze? Does it help with the smell? Because I have a really strong sense of smell, and these canals get to me."

"I can't imagine why the stink of sewage gets to you, since you're so full of shit anyway."

"Hey! Rude." He turns away and sticks his nose in the air, then jerks back. "Ugh, mistake. Don't sniff."

"Yeah I wasn't about to. So where are we going?"

"Well, we can go into the Trade District or walk over to the Dwarven District, whichever you'd like. Personally, I enjoy the dwarves; they like to give me beer."

"While usually I would advise against such, I have an urge to see how entertaining that might be. Lead the way!"

* * *

_Ten chapters already, wow. I didn't think my idea would get this far. The next chapter is going to be interesting, and we'll be meeting some people. At least, I hope. I have one person in mind, but I'm going to need some names to use. If you guys would PM me or put something in a review, I will try to use any names I get, if not in this chapter then somewhere. As always, ideas are welcome, especially if you give me a name of your character. :)_

_I have a lot more free time now, suddenly, so I think I'll be updating more frequently. Soooo gooooooo :D_


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